second life epiphany

I sit here writing this after I just worked 12 or so hours, walked home, did chores and now i’m making frozen pizza on a Saturday night. alone. my point of this blog apparently. so today while at work mid day I had this life epiphany probably the second most important. I almost broke down crying. yes its related to work but more so my personal life and my mental health. I always joke id be dead by thirty from a heart attack but I am actually serious. at this rate im going I will be. or ill be the girl who only worked then died.never had a life. I need for my sanity and the lifespan I have left to not just be the girl who works. with this being said I have a list of some changes that need to be made. im in the start of burnout and im not going to let it take over. I love what I do and I don’t want to resent my career and life choices later in life. clients today made me feel like me not giving up every one of my barely days off for them was like I was doing something wrong well excuse me for wanting to use my only day off for something. this made me realize I need to change some things, work and personal before I snap, breakdown or hate what I love. I think some days off, trips to the woods, vacation. not hair related is in order for me to survive right now. plus who knows maybe next year I will have more changes to come. im type A, and a stressed out burnt out type A is not good. no one makes me work this much I chose this but im also choosing right now for future me to even make it that far to change some things. this is very hard for me to admit this out loud ever. workaholic, stubborn, head string goal oriented Alyx needs to chill. I worked for so many days in a row for so many years because I thought I had to to escape from other things and because I actually love what I do so much. but if I want to continue this journey I need to analyze and access my life, my mental health for my self. this was the second most clearest thought I have ever had and I know deep down to my core I need to do this. so here’s to planning a life change again, a second major life epiphany happened today and I feel like my brain is gonna burst even thinking about this. that amazing book that made me cry and realize so much, called burnout has also made me think about this in a new way a better positive way this is not a negative for me its necessary for me to survive. someone hold me accountable. thanks.