writers block, jk. I am just afraid to write this and to say it out loud but it came to me as I was driving earlier as my thoughts do. I am afraid to commit to certain people or things, or like even make plans with anyone, which this is hard for my stubborn ass to admit out aloud cuz anyone i’ve ever let into my life who was half assed important has left or not made me a priority and I gave energy and time into them for nothing so thanks to all you soul sucking fucks before, no but really sort of to my point…exactly that thanks for ruining any future of my life, but I do truly like being alone also a lot, but I think also looking back these important people I let into my space they are all gone now and have left and I am afraid to let another one in and I always will be cuz I feel like they won’t stay or like even be around.the last person literally disappeared and we still don’t know if there even alive but before that tho I gave a lot of my precious self, time and energy and it just wasn’t reciprocated so now I protect all of me, my time And energy and idk if I even have it in me to try again to let anyone else in even a little. I am a giver, naturally I am driven and always working and onto the next goal or project but I give it my all and finish the task and I realized with relationships I did that to, gave it my all and they left me drained and alone so like today I wAS DRIVING AND REALIZED IF I AM TO Ever TRY THIS AGIN, THE NEXT PEROSN NEEDS TO know that ive already gave a lot of me for years so I am. in this place of choosing me, to survive at this point. if you plan to leave or try to drain me dry like just don’t… and can you let me know like ahead of time? jeez thanks. also my fat finger hit the caps lock key and I don’t want to delete my rant to start all over again. soooo im thinking like im just going to keep choosing me at this point.
Categories: ***
Alyx
Aries, Slytherin, home owner, cat mom, workaholic, feminist, full of opinions no one wants to hear thats why I made this.
8 Comments
Ry · March 16, 2022 at 2:57 am
You got a really good point. Just know that some don’t want your energy, just time and good laughs. Love you cuz.
Joshua · March 30, 2022 at 11:04 pm
Just keep swimming
Alyx · March 31, 2022 at 5:12 am
that is all you can do
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