pauses then says, your my bestfriend”

hello favorite readers..this one is a sad one. but what’s new. I bawled my eyes out on my drive home a little bit ago. because of a song that came on and the feeling that went with it. naturally it was a TAYLOR SONG OF COURSE. so it cuts to the core. but the song “you are in love” because I am. with myself finally after all these years and with you. you are my best fucking friend and it occurred to me that I am a better me because of you. I don’t want to let us down or myself. I want to keep respecting you and myself. I will stray my thoughts will deceive me but i’ve gotten better at pushing them away when my brain tells me what I don’t deserve. I do deserve love and to be in it again and I owe it to myself to fight my bad thoughts and to let the good ones win. so yea I cried I fucking bawled driving home in the rain after leaving your house because I didn’t want to go. I wanted more time with you and it made me realize how much i’ve grown and changed. like who even am I? but its for the better. only took me thirty years to finally get to this place in life and its foreign but positive. anyways your fav writer just likes to rant and bitch about the same shit a lot.